Laying there with tears held back, fear swallowed, anxiety kicking in listening as your heartbeat echoed through the room. One tear rolled down my face as I opened my eyes to see the grainy image of the greatest adventure I’d ever encounter.
When I found out about you I was too scared to even look at the test because I wasn’t ready for what was coming. Change. How was I going to gain the strength for this? Financially, it was impossible. I had just moved back from California, I was unemployed and a disaster. I look back at the events leading up to this moment and can only laugh because what I thought was a sad situation turned out to be God working His magic to catapult me into being your mother and becoming who I needed to be for a long time, but was too scared to do it on my own. You, this small little boy arrived June 9th, 2015 and tore down every wall I had. When our eyes met, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Through the pain, sleepless nights, and vomit you have taught me more patience and love than I could’ve ever in my lifetime. You have taught me to be selfless and never question my ability to take care of you. But more importantly you have given me this strength that I never knew I had. You are my reason, my light and my best bud. Thank you for choosing me to be your mom. You make me laugh every single day, forget the heartbreak and help me to remember it’s not about what we don’t have, but what we do. I love you with every ounce of my being and I will never let you down.